Since the last post things have progressed quite well. I made the mistake of telling my girl my feelings in a way that made me seem insecure and needy. She responded as she does to this behaviour with indifference. But i could feel the underlying sense of disappointment.
Ok so it doesnt sound like things are well but bear with me for a bit.
Her reaction made me think about the way i have been living for many of the past years and i realized that my tendency to act pouty and stubborn was reinforced by either concern or anger. Its time for me to shape up and live my life as a man instead of remaining a boy. There are so many positive aspects to my life and i am starting to appreciate them rather than focusing on the small negative parts.
New position at work with more responsibilities and higher pay. I have also noticed some extra respect from some of the more experienced coworkers.
We have also been spending more time apart even though she has no place to live until the end of the month. I have been more comfortable with her feelings for me and i think she has noticed the difference.
Been having problems with my roomate who happens to be my best friend…or was until i started dating the current girlfriend. There have been feelings between us that were stronger than just friends at different times in the seven years we have known each other but they never coincided so nothing developed. Some of these feelings must have been lingering on her part though as her jealousy has caused arguments then silent treatments and now she wants to break the lease to get out one month early! Part of me feels sad that our relationship has deteriorated but i have also had the opportunity to observe her behaviour from a distance and realize now how immature she really is and how i was just used to acting that way as well.
Soon enough it will be over though and maybe in the future we will develop a more mature friendship again.
I need to stop thinking of others when it jeopardizes my well being. I have done too much allready and need to find the balance.
